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Ronny F. Wade

“And he said, What have they seen in thine house?” – 2Kings 20: 14-15

The mere mention of the word HOME creates several kinds of impressions and emotions in the human heart. If God has blessed you with a good home, you think about the joy you shared there and with a sense of nostalgia you look back on those happy times. If you have not had a happy home life, then you remember all the anxieties, sorrows, and grievances you would like to forget. When God started with the human race, he began with the home. When God wanted to build a people who were known for their faith in Him and through whom the He could send the Savior of the world, he began in the home of a man named Abraham. It is very important that we understand how God put together the first home, this safeguard of society and civilization.

I. God’s Pattern For Marriage.

Marriage has been defined as “that agreement by which a man and a woman become husband and wife. Marriage originated with God.

Gen.2:24 and Mt. 19:4-5 In the beginning God made them male and female. (Man should leave father and mother and “cleave” to wife) Anyone not ready to do so, is not ready for marriage.

This relationship of marriage is honorable Heb. 13:4 “marriage is honorable…” that means that it is precious or valuable.

Monogamous–only one mate at a time. God’s plan is one man for one woman for life.

It was also patriarchal in government—by divine restriction the wife is subordinate to man. Eph.5:23 “ For as the husband is the head of the wife…”

Religious in spirit—Permeating the primitive family was a spirit of devotion. The Hebrew home was a religious organization of great strength. Children were taught and reared in strict adherence with the Hebrew scriptures.

Christians are to marry Christians. An unbeliever brings to that relationship attitudes and convictions you will not appreciate. In such a relationship you may be called upon to compromise your faith and devotion to God and if so, that person will not be a companion “suitable” to your spiritual needs.

Forces that destroy marriage and homes:

1. Liquor: is an enemy of home life in America. In virtually every home where there has been trouble alcohol has played a prominent and distressing role. The head of the Baptist

Children’s Home in Georgia said “ 83% of the children in the home were there because of liquor problems in the home. (They had fathers and mothers.) Liquor is a great enemy of home life. No wonder the bible forbids Christians drinking. Eph. 5:18

2. Divorce: One in every two marriages fails.

Divorce is an enemy of the home, taking a toll not only on the husband and wife, but the innocent children as well. Today in America millions of Children are victims of this tragedy. Bill Sands, former inmate at California’s famous San Quentin Prison tells the heart wrenching story of the night he was confronted with his parents’ divorce and was forced to make a choice as to which one he would live with. God intended that marriage be for life. Divorce was not originally in the divine equation.

3. Materialism is an enemy of the home.

The secular pressures of our affluent society have made it harder and harder to maintain the kind of home God intends for us to have. We have plenty of cars, but do not have a lot of compassion. We have a great deal of luxury, but here is not a great deal of love. We have more clothing than ever before and less Christianity. Beautiful houses do not always house a good home. A house is just a house, until Jesus moves into it. The little house in Bethany was transformed into a vestibule of heaven every time Jesus visited there. Luke 10:38

4. The New Morality is an enemy of the home.

It is neither new nor moral. It is simply the old immorality brought up to date. Some say the institution of the home has failed, that it no longer works. The problem is not with the institution of the home, but with the people who live there. People today want to do away with the one man for one woman concept and move toward group marriages. We live in the day of the coed dorm, and wife swapping clubs. God has something to say about the home. He has given us an authoritative guide of what the home ought to be. He has some very specific things to say to every member of the home.

II. The Head Of The Home.

To insure stability, peace, and order every institution on earth must have a head. In school we have a principal. On a football team, we have a coach. In a bank there is a president. And in the home there is a husband and father who has been given the responsibility of ruler, leader, guide, and protector. The husband is the “head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church Eph.5:23. Unfortunately many men do not have the courage or willingness to yield to God’s chain of command in the home.

Duties of the Husband:

1. Love and Honor his Wife.

Eph.5:25 “husbands love your wives…” Love is longsuffering, kind, humble, patient, unselfish, and courteous. He honors her by showing sympathy and understanding. By showing tenderness and affection and being worthy of her love. Col. 3:19 says, “husbands love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”

Isn’t it amazing God had to tell us to love one another? Isn’t it amazing Jesus had to tell his disciples over and over again to love one another? It may be that none of us tell our wives enough that we love them. It’s like the guy who married a girl who wanted to be told all the time that he loved her. He could hardly go it. Finally she got on a pretty good rampage. Crying and fussing “You don’t ever tell me you love me,” she said. He got upset, got to mumbling and crying a little himself. “I’1] tell you what” he said “the day we married I told you I love you, and If I ever change my mind, you’! be the first to know.”

2. To be faithful to her.

Heb.13:4 “Marriage is honorable…adulterers and whoremongers God will judge.” 1Cor.7:2 “Nevertheless to avoid fornication let every man have his own wife and every wife her own husband.”

3. Support the Family.

1Tim.5:8 “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” He is the breadwinner. Some men work long hours and don’t do it because they are interested primarily in money. They don’t do it because they are necessarily interested in moving up in the company. They do it simply because they want to provide adequately for their families. Wives and children should thank both God and the husband and father who is a good provider.

4. He Must Be An Example.

The right kind of father must be the right kind of man. 1Thess.2:10 “ye are witnesses and God also, how holily and justly and umblameably we behaved ourselves among you that believe: As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children.” In the days of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, godly men would gather their families and construct an altar to the Lord. They would offer prayers, praise, and sacrifice to God. Today, Godly men should gather their families together and open the word of God and read from it. “The family that prays together stays together” that is more than a slogan. As leader and example fathers should take their families to church services. lead them to the house of God, the church.

5. Train His Children.

Eph.6:4 “Fathers provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Prov.22:15 “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

Deut. 6:6 “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart; and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

The father, head of the home, must step up to the task of leadership and spiritual guide in the home. He cannot abdicate that responsibility to anyone else or any other institution. In Chicago airport they found a poor girl who had committed suicide in one of the restroom. Her suicide not read: “Dear Mother, I’ve never given you anything but trouble in all my life. You won’t have to worry about your wayward girl anymore. Mother, tell my wicked daddy I’ll meet him in hell.”

God have mercy on any man who will bring children into this world and then fail to allow Jesus Christ to make him the kind of father he ought to be.

III. The Heart of the Home.

The man is the head of the home, but the mother is the heart of the home. It’s the mother that really makes things tick around the home. The bible has some wonderful, sweet, and precious things to say about the role of women in the home. We can never underestimate the value of a Christian woman and the blessings that flow from life of a Christian mother. Abe Lincoln said “all that I am or ever hope to be ] owe to my godly mother.”

A woman can be a great curse in this world:  Think of Potiphar’s wife and her lewd proposal to Joseph. Think of Delilah who with her proposals caused Samson to lose his grip of God and fall into disgrace. Then think of Mary the mother of Jesus. Think of the wonderful influence of Eunice and Lois. It seems that God has given women an unusual capacity for spiritual things. A woman anointed the feet and head of Jesus for burial. A group of women stayed around the cross and made that vigil until the life of Our Lord ebbed out of him. A group of women were first to announce the resurrection of Christ. Give me a group of women who are in love with Jesus, deeply in love with him, and I’ll show you the basis for a strong church. Thank God for Christian women.

Duties of Wives

1. Submit to and love her husband.

Col. 3:18 “Wives submit to your own husbands as is fit in the Lord…”

Titus 2:4 “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.” Submitting does not in an any way lower the position or importance of the wife.

Women are in a position to mold the lives of presidents, shape the lives of preachers, train physicians, scientists, and statesmen. God has not given to women the role of preaching in the pulpit 1Tim.2:11-2. But you may preach many a sermon as you sew and repair a rent garment for a little boy or girl as you tell them about Jesus. A boy can get a long way from a lot of things but he’ll never be able to fully get away from the prayers of a godly mother. Many divorces could be avoided if young girls who are marrying had been given some bible instruction at the knees of their mothers about the responsibilities and their roles in the home.

2. Guide the house.

1Tim.5:14 “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house.” lit. “rule the house” Titus 2:5 “keepers at home” i.e. “workers at home.”

“Takes a heap of living in a house to make a home” There is more to home making than “housekeeping.” In addition to keeping a tidy house she must make an atmosphere of love, happiness, friendliness, cheerfulness and cooperation. She must provide a place to which her husband longs to return. As she guides the house, she also becomes a primary source of teaching for her children. Ezek. 16:44 “As is the mother, so is her daughter.”

1Tim.1:5 “When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice, and I am persuaded in thee also.”

“The bravest battle that ever was fought, shall I tell you where and when?  On the maps of the world you will find them not, they were fought by the mothers of men.” The career of motherhood is a woman’s highest calling.

John 16:21 “A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow because her hour is come; but as soon as she is delivered of a child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.”

IV. The Hub of the Home.

A man made proverb says: “Your children are not your own, but a life striving for itself.”  Children are a heritage of the Lord. God gives children to a home, and what a blessing they are. What a difference they make.

When a child is born into your home, God has given you a little piece of eternity. For a few brief years you have the privilege of shaping and molding that creation of God. Someone has said “A child is someone who passes through our lives and then disappears into an adult.”


Every child has a right:

1.  To a good example. Don’t tell your child, “show” them what to do. Light a candle to show them the way. How you talk your child will talk. How you live morally, they will live. How you are in devotion to God they will be. Some say “I’m not going to make my child go to church. It might turn them against church.” What about a bath? Do you think that might turn them against soap? What about School?

2. A Right to be taught the truth

1Tim. 3:15 “from a child thou has known. the holy scriptures…”

3. A Child has a right to Discipline. Children and young people are crying out for discipline. They want to know where the limits are.

Prov. 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go…” Eph.6:4 “Fathers provoke not your children to wrath…”

Prov. 3:12 “For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”

4. A Child has a right to Love.

To have the capacity for love, one must first beloved. 1Jno.4:19 “We love him because he first loved us…” There are multitudes of young people who really have no love in their homes. Many parents are too busy to be involved in their own activities that they don’t have time for their children.

A business man speaking to client one day asked about his family.  The man replied “Well, I had one girl.” The client replied “I’m sorry she died.” Oh, she didn’t die, I was too busy.

Tell your children you love them, you will never be sorry you did.

Every child owes his/her parents two things:

1. Honor and respect

Not cute to say “my old man” or “the old lady” This is disrespectful.

Note Eph.6:1-2  “Honor thy father…”

Your mother went to the very door of death and endured the agony of birth pains to bring you into this world.

2. Obedience

May not be what the music tells you, or what the literature tells you, but it is what the Bible says. Those who tell you to rebel against them, are not your friends. So long as you live under their roof, sleep in their beds, and wear the clothes they buy you, and eat at their table, you are duty bound to obey them. There are many mothers who have wept themselves to sleep because of cutting words from some ungrateful child. Many fathers have more gray hairs than his age demands, because of some ungrateful boy who gave him a hard time when he didn’t give him everything everybody else in the community had.

The Christian home patterned after the Lord’s instructions is a safeguard against sickness and distress that covers our land today. It can safely pass the torch of truth from one generation to the next. God bless our homes.

[This is an abbreviated transcription of a Let the Bible Speak broadcast by Ronny Wade].

 Recommended articles:

Introducing the Church of Christ – Ronny Wade

God’s Sevenfold Unity – Jerry Cutter

Repentance – J. W. McGarvey


The Ancient Faith website is a thematic collection of scholarly yet simple Bible essays and sermons, many of which were composed by Restoration preachers such as J.W. McGarvey, Moses Lard, Benjamin Franklin, and Alexander Campbell. These courageous men of faith through hours of Bible investigation studied themselves out of denominationalism, asking for “the old paths” (Jer. 6:16) and seeking to return to “the faith once for all delivered to the saints” (Jude 3). We hope you will join with these men in their fervent plea to restore “the ancient order,” “the ancient gospel” or, as it was sometimes called, “the ancient faith.”